• Bird Puns From Tiff

    From Daryl Stout@57:57/10 to All on Thu Oct 29 05:33:34 2020
    Tiff's winning entry is typical of her writing.
    Here is one she posted to PUNY about a year ago:

    WARNING: For those of you who are tired of bird puns, do not sCROW down!
    It's not too late to TERN back now! Don't say I didn't WREN you!

    PHEASANT Greetings! As some of you may know JAY Danforth QUAYLE has
    thrown his hat in the ring and is seeking the Republican Party
    nomination for the President of these United States. Of course, we all
    know who Dan Quayle is...the former vice-president in the Bush
    Administration. Many people thought that Bush was cradle-ROBIN when he
    picked Quayle to be his running mate because he was so young at the
    time. We all know what kind of vice-president he made...SPARROWS the
    details, you say! It seems to me he has been the most PARROTied
    vice-president in recent history, if not OWL of history. It seems like
    nowadays anyone who runs for public office has to TEAL with the press.
    Anything that you have done in your life can be used as EMUnition
    against you in the court of public oPINION, we all know how they
    continue to WHIP POOR WILL in the press but that is neither HERON nor there.

    Back to Quayle, I consider him to be a MYNAH candidate but what if, in
    OSTRICH of the imagination, all of MUD-HEN he did get the nomination?
    What tHEN? Whenever I hear him sBEAK I just have to WINGce because I'm
    always afraid of what he might say. If he became President, what would
    he be like when it came to matters of State? Could he stand up to some STORK-RAVEN mad NUTHATCHing a plan or any other LOONatic who tried to
    mess with the U.S.? Or, God forbid, we were invaded by MARSH-HENS? Let
    OSPREY that he would be able to handle those situations and not THRUSH
    into something that we might EGRET later! On the other hand, he might
    actual make a very good President because he doesn't seem to me to be
    the type to be in the center of a scandal, unlike the President from
    AUKansas. Can you imagine a HARRIER scandal than the ones Clinton has
    been a part of? No, I don't see Quayle giving GULL inTERNS FLAMING "O"s
    in the Oval Office or GREBEing White House volunteers in the buttocks.
    Or lying about PUFFIN on a joint. You can FRIGATE about all of that! He
    might DUCK the issues but so does every other politician.

    Your GOOSE is as good as mine on what kind of President he will make
    and as we fINCH toward November 2000 anything can happen. AL BAT ROSS
    Perot might even try running again.

    By the way, ORIOLE going to vote? This is one way you can PIGEON and
    decide on the issues. What ever party you are affiliated with EIDER the Democratic Party or the Republican Party (oxymoron) you need to
    DOWITCHER conscience tells you. IBISeein' ya! (By Tiff Wimberly)
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (57:57/10)